Archive | September, 2008

Early Gay Crushes: Ryan Phillippe

25 Sep

Nowadays, all major horror flicks are remakes of Asian gorefests, featuring screamy women running from creepy new tech devices seemingly out to kill them. But there was a time, not that long ago, when horror movies still meant trying to avoid getting slaughtered by other human beings. The movies that came out of the genre’s commercial revival in the mid-to-late nineties were mostly crappy, of course, but if nothing else, they gave career-making screen time to a number of hot young things that we might otherwise have missed; from Urban Legend‘s Joshua Jackson and Jared Leto, to The Faculty’s Josh Hartnett, and I Know What You Did Last Summer‘s Ryan Phillippe. It might be an exaggeration to say I’m grateful for such bad movies (and did we really need post-ironoc horror flicks?), but at least something (someone) good (-looking) derived from it.

Chief among them, Ryan Phillippe. If Freddie Prinze jr. was the breakout star of the franchise, it was no doubt Phillippe that sold me on it, to the extent that I have actually seen I Know no less than three times over the years. Yes, he was a little wooden, but that’s part of the charm about these films. Actors weren’t supposed to act, they posed. Likewise, you weren’t supposed to think, only watch. Worked for me. He made his way into my early canon of Crushes You Never Talk About (which of course encompassed all of them, since they were all guys, but you see my point) by doing another playful playboy role, in the supposedly sexy Cruel Intentions (1999). What it lacked in substance, it strived to make up for in forced in sex-appeal, resulting in an admittedly good-looking, but utterly shallow vehicle. But heck, he was naked!

It was only later, however, that I realized that Ryan Phillippe’s potential hunkiness is best served not when he’s playing a jock, but rather playing more somber characters. He reintroduced himself to me in Gosford Park, and then, almost immediately afterward, in the wonderfully sardonic comedy Igby Goes Down. I had turned 17 at the time, and the range of my preferences may have broadened a bit (I was no longer just looking for classic beauty), but that’s not to say I wasn’t immediately reminded of what drew me to him in the first place. His looks gave exactly the aura of cool arrogance to his Igby character that I’m sure the casting crew were aiming for, and he didn’t completely botch his stint for Altman either. Also, it seemed he had learned to make the most of his admittedly limited skills, choosing roles in which his looks and somewhat stiff delivery served the greater artistic goal.

You don’t need much more than beauty and a certain ability to make decent career decisions to to justify my keeping an eye on what you’re doing. Especially if you were discovered when I was still in my teens.

Efron, Sheckler On Rise As Hunter Parrish Fends Off Challenge For September’s Sexiest Male

20 Sep

The list is back after an August hiatus, with what we might call the Lessons From My Brother Edition. This blog has been a secret pet project of mine for the last several months, and I intended for it to stay that way, due to the, erm, somewhat private nature of the topics discussed here. But a couple of days ago, my brother discovered the site by accident, as I had apparently not been careful enough in erasing my web history. He’s gay too, and many of the changes on the list this month was triggered by our discussion of what changes he would have made to the July edition. Turns out we have much the same taste in men, and where we differ, his perspective has had a tendency to break into my own considerations. More on that in the round-up below.

First, however, I thought you should know that we welcome both Zac Hanson (#38) and Jonathan Taylor Thomas (#40) back on the list, after they both fell off in July. I guess working with the Early Gay Crushes series really brought back memories. In other news, Ed Speleers (#23) and Adam Brody (#25) both climb an impressive twelve spots this month, while young American Idol runner-up David Archuleta (#41) experiences the steepest fall, dropping a full 18 spots. He’s not alone in his misery, however, as Michael Cera (#48) and Frankie Muniz (#50) both drop 16 spots, barely making the cut. On a brighter note, we have five newcomers this month, ranging from Gossip Girl heartthrob Ed Westwick (#32) to old faithful middle Hanson, Taylor (#49) We also, perhaps only temporarily, bid farewell to Aurelien Wiik, Jay Brannan, Jay Baruchel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lukas Podolski, Jason Smith and Alfie Allen.

As I’ve said before, generally the movement on this list is caused by a particular standing to me as relatively more attractive that he was considered two months ago. That, however, of course doesn’t necessarily mean that any ot the other people on the list have become markedly less attractive, only that they perhaps have not been as good at getting my attention lately. With that said, let’s break it down:

#1-10: Again, the fight for the top spot was incredibly close. I’ve gotten comments lately about the obvious hotness of Jesse McCartney, and early in the week he again looked like the frontrunner. If I were to point to one thing in particular that again tipped the scale in favor of Hunter Parrish, however, I’d cite this incredibly hot clip of him doing a behind-the-scenes video for the Broadway musical Spring Awakening. He even sings well. As long as I keep discovering new things about him, J-Mac will have a hard time dethroning him. Beside from the rivalry for top honors, Zac Efron gains a remarkable five spots, almost exlusively due to the fact that I have never ever seen him look hotter than he does in this pic (To paraphrase John McCain: His smile alone contributes to global warming. And hos about those nipples! And pecs! *sight gets blurry*). Elsewhere in the top tier changes are minor, except muscular skater boy Ryan Sheckler lands at #7, on the strength of Life of Ryan photo stills, and a passionate sales pitch from my brother. Kudos also go to Ricky Ullman, the unconventional Phil of the Future cutie, breaking into the Top Ten, at #9.

#11-20: The second-tier resemble the sense of volatility that runs through the entire list. As memories of this summers Euro 2008 campaign faded, as he has been injured for the better part of the opening of the Premier Leauge season, Cristiano Ronaldo surprisingly has been knocked out of the Top Ten, currently residing in the #11 spot. This of course has got more to do with fierce competition than anything else, and he could back as soon as next month. Moving up, meanwhile, is Logan Lerman, who proved himself to be real pretty boy material earlier this year, with his glowing presence in James Mangold’s refreshing western movie 3:10 To Yuma. My brother then redirected my attention to former Home and Away star Chris Egan, who for the first time surpass former colleague Mitch Firth, taking 7th Heaven‘s Tyler Hoechlin with him on his way up. Hoechlin’s seven spot surge should probably be attributed to the fact that I sat down to watch some old Heaven episodes recently. He of course is pretty fit, and again, there’s something about that smile. Same goes for Ryan Donowho, who got plenty of The O.C. exposure this month, which obviously didn’t hurt. Also worth worth noting is that Kevin Zegers is back in the Top Twenty. While not exactly shocking for a DiCaprio clone, it’s still a somewhat unexpected development.

#21-30: In July, in an effort to explain why Ed Speleers and Adam Brody were suddenly in free fall, I predicted that “[E]ven though they might not be Top 20 material, you’d be unwise to permanently write [them] off“. Looking back, that now seems a little too definitive, as they both rocket upwards on this month’s list. In the case of Brody – whose rapid rise has much to do with this particular picture and his geeky charms in The O.C.- he in fact more than offset his June to July slide. As far as Speleers go, a quick return to his Attitude photo shoot from January was more than enough to move him up. I refuse to make another projection, but I no longer see any absolute reasons why their rise should stop here. Elsewhere, Gareth Bale profits from the start of the soccer season, while Jeremy Sumpter needs to win back my immediate attention. Quite surprisingly, tennis god Raphael Nadal failed to capitalize on both his New York Magazine profile, and his stint at the U.S. Open earlier this month.

#31-40: At #30, Chace Crawford is still the highest ranked Gossip guy, but Newcomer Of The Month, Ed Westwick, made him work for it. It remains to be seen how both of them do in the coming months, as their picture-perfect looks might lose a little bit of its appeal over time, but for now they’re well-positioned to climb. Daniel Agger has not played much for Liverpool yet, but the reminder that he’s still out there proved powerful enough to him a place on the list. He follows Michael Angarano, the boyishly cute former Will & Grace co-star, who owes his debut to the fact that I watched him in the truly awful family comedy Sky High a couple of weeks ago. Also, Aaron Carter’s slide continues, and he’s now under pressure from fellow 90′s idol Zac Hanson to cede the title as Sexiest 90′s Pop Act. Stay tuned. Brady Corbett simply has fallen victim to increased competition.

#41-50: We’ve already touched upon the demise of David Archuleta, but with all the names bubbling just below the #50 mark, frankly, I would be  somewhat surprised if he were to bounce back anytime soon. Sometimes, ‘cute’ alone may not be enough. Chad Michael Murray, on the other hand, may very well see his star rise, as I just realized what an underappreciated hottie he is. So long as he stays clear of extensive facial hair, his face (and body) has potential to melt its way far above the current #42 spot. I should also note that I tried to find a higher place for him, but unsuccesfully. We congratulate Taylor Hanson on his first showing, and extend warnings to both Michael Cera and Frankie Muniz that what they’re seeing could well be the writing on the wall. Could the geeky charms get them back in the game once again?

Sexiest Males Alive, September 2008 edition:

  1. Hunter Parrish (July ranking: 1)
  2. Jesse McCartney (2)
  3. Zac Efron (8 )
  4. Emile Hirsch (3)
  5. Nicholas Hoult (4)
  6. Mitch Hewer (6)
  7. Ryan Sheckler (13)
  8. Charlie Hunnam (7)
  9. Ricky Ullman (11)
  10. David Gallagher (10)
  11. Cristiano Ronaldo (5)
  12. Logan Lerman (16)
  13. Alex Pettyfer (9)
  14. Chris Egan (18)
  15. Tyler Hoechlin (22)
  16. Sean Faris (12)
  17. Mitch Firth (13)
  18. Jamie Bell (17)
  19. Ryan Donowho (25)
  20. Kevin Zegers (26)
  21. Jesse Eisenberg (19)
  22. Jeremy Sumpter (15)
  23. Ed Speleers (35)
  24. Gareth Bale (33)
  25. Adam Brody (37)
  26. Chris Lowell (21)
  27. Raphael Nadal (20)
  28. Max Theriot (24)
  29. Leonardo DiCaprio (28 )
  30. Chace Crawford (27)
  31. Fernando Torres (30)
  32. Ed Westwick (new)
  33. Randy Harrison (36)
  34. Michael Angarano (new)
  35. Daniel Agger (new)
  36. Aaron Carter (29)
  37. Rhys Wakefield (38 )
  38. Zac Hanson (RE)
  39. Brady Corbett (31)
  40. Jonathan Taylor Thomas (RE)
  41. David Archuleta (23)
  42. Chad Michael Murray (new)
  43. Ryan Clarke (39)
  44. Jody Latham (42)
  45. Ryan Phillippe (49)
  46. Kostja Ullmann (47)
  47. John Dempsie (48 )
  48. Michael Cera (32)
  49. Taylor Hanson (new)
  50. Frankie Muniz (34)

I Don’t Want To Know About Your Celebrity Friends (Not Even If It’s Jonathan Taylor Thomas)

17 Sep

This may very quickly turn into a rant, but the essence is this: I was replying to a comment I received on a previous post about how the character Ryan Evans was outed in the stage version of High School Musical. The commenter compared HSM to the movie Hamlet 2, in which one character apparently is outed, to make the point that Disney movies would probably not yet be ready for an openly gay character. As I have not seen Hamlet 2, I’m in no position to say whether this is a fair assessment of that particular movie, but I immediately went to IMDB to read up on the movie.

The character in question, Rand Posin, is played by Skylar Astin (he’s kinda cute, you know). And here comes the moral lesson of this post, which has fairly little to do with gays in movies at all: However useful a resource IMDB might be, please don’t ever get involved in their message boards. I’m cutting from a very small sample here of course, but when I entered the Skylar Astin board and clicked on the ‘Hilarious in Hamlet 2′ thread, I was met by this, from the poster broadwaytechie: “OMG SkyLAR! BOY CAN SING! LOL I LOVE SKYLAR MORE! (We’re Facebook buddies and he knows my name and hugs me every time I see him!)” And then this, from poster outtonight129-1: “Haha I’ve been to his house. We’re really close family friends and I’ve done plays with him.”

I guess I should be thankful that out went a little easier on the caps than b-techie, but the same obnoxious feeling lingers: If I didn’t exactly ask myself who these people are (I really don’t want to know), then I asked what made them feel that they had to advertise their celebrity friendships in such a way to make themselves look interesting, or even worse, important? There is a triumphant tone to the posts that’s really annoys me. Minor thing, you say? Yep, but still.

A couple of weeks ago, googling Jonathan Taylor Thomas for my ‘Early Gay Crushes’ post, I was led to his IMDB message board, and the same thing happened. As you might know, there have been som quite persistent rumours about the possibility of him being gay, and he even appeared in American gaymag The Advocate to quell them. Anyway, on the boards they still won’t let the idea die, and thus poster josephandsandy says: “I worked with the kid years ago on a film in Vancouver. He’s probably one of the kindest and smartest actors i’ve worked with. When we were working he had an extremely attractive girlfriend that visited often. (…). Not gay, real solid guy.” Leave aside for a moment the fact that “Not gay, real solid guy” could easily be interpreted as saying that gays are not solid guys. What really irks me again is this need to announce your first-hand relationship with the person in question, which is further underlined by that last sentence.

Am I just jealous? Okay, maybe a little. Could I just avoid the message boards altogether? Sure, I probably wouldn’t miss them. But the best alternative would be if people just stopped their celebrity shout-outs entirely.

Rant over. Back to our original programming.

More On My Convenient Soccer Obsession

13 Sep

During this summer’s Euro 2008 campaign, I confessed my passion for soccer. Like it or not, but sporting events actually has the potential to make or break a day for me. Luckily, you just caught me on one of the best soccer days I’ve had in a long time. I’ve been a fervent Liverpool supporter since I was about 8 or 9 years old, and during the English season (August to May), my weekend mood may fluctuate with the performance of my beloved Reds. Thus, I’m in heaven at the moment. For the first time under Rafael Benitez’ reign at Anfield, we took three points from a Premiership game against main rivals Manchester United, courtesy of an own goal by United defender Wes Brown, and a goal by Dutch Liverpool winger Ryan Babel.

I guess I shouldn’t complain, supporting a team routinely mentioned as a serious contender for the Premiership (I have good friends who are supporters of Newcastle United and Stoke City, after all), but it hasn’t always been easy being a Liverpool supporter. The team is constantly compared to its own gold-laced history, and if it isn’t, then it’s reminded of the fact that it hasn’t had a real shot at the big prize in the last fifteen years. But all that can be moved to the back of the mind for a moment with today’s result, and I can return to one of the convenient (and pleasurable) side-effects of my soccer obsessions: The chance to combine my interest in the game itself with my interest in fit footballers reaching for their physical limits to please the people watching (for whatever slightly dubious reasons).

However deeply rooted my Liverpool loyality may lay, I could define have been worse off when it comes to the players I’m supposed to worship. Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard are of course first and foremost word-class players, but doesn’t exactly that they are also super hot. The Spaniard has that sense of classic beauty, but I have always been just as drawn to the masculine charms of the native Scouser captain. I bet you couldn’t say this about many players, but even his facing face has my heart racing. The term ‘love’ seems fitting, on several levels.

But Liverpool is a club committed to egalitarianism, and hence even cuteness trickles down: Argentinian Javier Mascherano is not for everyone, but to me he has a sort of stubborn (associated with his somewhat aggressive playing style) charm; Ryan Babel is still young, but he’s boyishly good-looking; new signings Nabil El Zhar and David Ngog have real potential, both on the field and the gossip rags, and I just realized that I’m kinda hot for Jamie Carragher, as well. Have you heard him talk? He has the cutest voice. And, though I’m still reluctant to admit it, there’s something oddly attractive about Dirk Kuyt. Not to mention Daniel Agger. Can’t wait to see him play again.

That sure isn’t a bad roster, and I’m pleased to get to see them compete for my attention every weekend. But today’s match even offered fierce competition from the half of the field. Unfortunately, the world’s most smashing footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, still hasn’t recovered from his injury, but United (a team I absolutely hate, in every respect but this one), of course had other goods to offer up: How about Anderson? Or Nani? Or Michael Carrick? Nemanja Vidic? You get the picture.

A sport that brings this much joy and pleasure has to be good. I would expect to write more about soccer jocks as the season progresses.

Madonna, Fabulous Ice Queen

5 Sep

Madonna is one of those gay icons, possibly rivaled only by Kylie Minogue, whose flashy, extravagant lifestyle, floor-filling pop credentials and ability to embrace her iconic status, seemingly makes her practically unassailable. Worship has been passed on from gays who grew up with Like A Virgin, La Isla Bonita and Like A Prayer, to people like me, who came of age (many of us were only in our early teens) to late 1990′s/early 2000′s smashes like Ray Of Light, Music and What It Feels Like For A Girl (even for a gay, ‘You’d love to know what it’s like, wouldn’t you?” still is one of the hottest lines of the decade), and many have taken the mantle with pride. But because I was born to late to have a direct fan relationship with the Madonna of the 1980′s I have always struggled to feel much passion for that part of her career. Her tunes were catchy, sure, but I can’t help but associate her more with the increasingly vulgar presence she has morphed into in recent years.

I hope and suspect that this is more a generational thing, but I also know that any off-word about Madonna could make me out of sync with the gay community. Still I feel that though she has continued to make some delicious pop songs (Hung Up, Sorry, 4 Minutes) even on her recent lesser albums, the whole Madonna brand now seems to be more about her trying to prove she can still be sexy, than about churning world class chart-toppers. Madonna has of course always been about sex appeal, but could anyone watch the Hung Up video without feeling just a teeny bit embarrassed on her behalf? I couldn’t.

So what’s the solution for people like me, who want to enjoy their Madge, but are trying to manage their way between 1980 and 2008? I suggest a return to the late-90′s Madonna, and more specifically one song in particular. I was fortunate to be born late enough to mostly miss out on her early to mid-90′s stuff (think Rain, I’ll Remember, Take A Bow, Don’t Cry For Me Argentina), and that meant that I sort of discovered here when she released Frozen, the first single of the Ray Of Light album, her wildly successful collaboration with producer William Orbit. And what a magnificent introduction! The way the opening beats feels like their sneaking up on you, only to embrace you slowly, never stops to amaze. I know it’s a tired cliche, but the cold, mechanical feel of this song is actually perfectly captured in the title, and still contrasted by Madonna’s warm, yet slightly mysterious vocals. Her sex appeal is clearly present, both in the song itself and in the music video, but for once it’s understated, which makes it all the more interesting. It might be just me being nostalgic here, but I still heard or seen anything from her to top this.

So, she may well be the Queen of Pop, after all. The Ice Queen, that is.

Early Gay Crushes: Zac Hanson

2 Sep

Zac Hanson will never be hot (but he comes close at times). When Hanson burst onto the international music scene with their infectious pop smash MMMBop back in 1997, he still had his long and unruly, girly hair, and even today, his chubbyness disqualifies him from the conventional definition of classical beauty. I don’t always strive for perfection, however, and therefore the young drummer has always been my favorite Hanson.

One could of course argue that it didn’t take much for me to development a crush on anybody at that age (I was approching my twelfth birthday as Middle of Nowhere hit the charts), but in retrospect I’m not ashamed of it. Much like my fondness for Backstreet Boys, my Hanson fandom had to be kept secret, however, among other things because being a Hanson fan was considered wimpy and gay among my peers. (In fact, it was not until the release of their third album, 2004′s Underneath, that I publicly admitted to being a fan.) The irony in all this is that the fact that their music was so widely ridiculed made me feel that I was less weird for actually having a crush on Zac Hanson than for liking their music. Even though I was the only one who knew about either, it became important for me to emphasise that I liked the band because of Zac, and not because of the music. I’m not gonna psychoanalyze any further, but I guess that’s an early that I would be accepting of my orientation once I finally realized who I really am.

One of the main reasons why Zac was my favorite, was of course that he was closest to my age. I dreamed about being his best friend (even though my sexual fantasies were all about guys – something I, oddly enough, didn’t connect to being gay until several years later -, I still didn’t think about having sex with them), and I simply wanted to achieve the same level of success that he had. I guess I thought he was cute, but I wasn’t mature enough to see that that was how I felt about him. I kept saying to myself that I liked him because he seemed like a fun guy (he was sort of the band mascot, and he still is, in a way). Both Taylor and Isaac were more obvious heartthrob material, but they didn’t interest me the way Zac did.

The memory of my Zac crush stayed with me for years after Hanson temporarily disappeared from the charts, and it recurred when the second album, This Time Around, was released in 2000. His slightly androgynous looks had now gone into full bloom, and though I still didn’t have the guts to embrace them publicly, I was definitely drooling over him in secret. Yes, his pony tail (2:29) looked absolutely ridiculous, but there is really something about those lips. And on a different note, is have to say Taylor never looked better than he did did back then.

Perhaps paradoxically, as I have grown into an all-out Hanson fan, starting with Penny and Me from Underneath, Zac Hanson has come to be less important for how I define my relationship to the band. But still, it would probably come as no surprise when I say that Zac was the first one I looked for in the music video, and that his sudden grown-up manliness was a very big part of the reason why I kept coming back both to the band and that particular song. He will never be the most world’s most sexy man, but as long as he stays cute, there’s now way I will cut off someone who has been this important in helping me define myself over the last eleven years.

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