Seeking To Avoid Clever Wordplay, Let’s Just Say Tottenham Is One Consistently Cute Club

I really don’t like Tottenham Hotspur. Their reliably mediocre Premiership performances have never made them much of a threath to my beloved Liverpool, but their supporters are possibly the most undeservedly cocky of all. Every year they seem convinced that they will finally take the final step towards being a serious challenger, only to discover that they stumble so badly from the outset that their season is practically over by October. I know I should feel bad for them, but there is something about their consistent failure to connect with the real world (in which Tottenham of course is a Top Seven contender, at best), that instead makes their predictable disappointment a source of cruel satisfaction.

Lately, that has not been the only source of pleasure Tottenham has given me, however. As the results have become progressively worse (itself a welcome development), the squad has just gotten hotter. When they play up to their potential, Tottenham is capable of playing wonderful soccer, but they have had a truly terrible season this far, so one cannot blame me for focussing on other aspects of their performance. Left defender Gareth Bale, for example. As one of only two soccer players on the most recent Sexiest Males Alive list, he sits comfortably at #24.

He’s not alone, though. Central defender Michael Dawson may not fit everyone’s taste, but I think he’s kinda hot. Jermaine Jenas should of course fit everyone, and he probably does. To top it all it all of, he shares the midfield with the undeniably attractive former Blackburn winger David Bentley, and fellow England international Aaron Lennon. Likewise, the newly arrived 19 year old Giovani dos Santos is set to melt some hearts at White Hart Lane.

Overall, these guys amount to one simple reason to take Tottenham seriously: They could overtake Liverpool as the sexiest team in the Premiership. No matter how you slice it, the enemy has never looked hotter.

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