With Hirsch On Top, October SMA Returns To Normal

In a show of force, Emile Hirsch this month showed that he can still dictate the terms of the competition, even though he was demoted to second place on the Sexiest Males Alive (SMA) list for August. He may have been the standardbearer, but Zac Efron still had to convince me more why Emile should not retake the top spot, than why he was the right guy to remain atop the SMA. Zac predictably failed at a task that was outside of his control, which means the regular order is reinstated.

Elsewhere it was the revenge of the nerd (or rather, geek) as Jesse Eisenberg saw a massive fifteen spot rise due to the release of Zombieland, to take the Climber Of The Month title. At the opposite end of the scale Daniel Radcliffe’s dramatic thirteen spot slide to #48 stands out, in a month of fairly modest downward mobility. In a development now fairly typical for the Harry Potter star, just when we thought he was about to find his footing, he’s in dire straits yet again. Speaking of Harry Potter, Radcliffe’s co-star Freddie Stroma got a very short run, and he joins the ranks of the relegated, alongside Cody Linley and Chris Pine. This month’s sole returnee is Tottenham footballer Gareth Bale. We also have two newcomers with us this month, Nick Jonas and Matt Lanter.

As always, the changes on the list are usually caused by any particular guy being considered by me to be relatively more attractive than he was considered last month. That, however, of course doesn’t necessarily mean that any of the other people on this list have become markedly less attractive, only that they perhaps have not been as good at getting my attention lately.

With that said, let’s break it down:

#1-10: It may seem like an odd thing to say after he was actually dethroned in August, but Emile Hirsch nevertheless has become something of a default choice for the SMA top spot. It’s almost a kind of loyalty thing. Which means that Zac Efron, or any other contender, will probably have to make me dislike Hirsch in some way, in order to take permanent hold of the top spot. I’d call that practically impossible. On the place below Efron, who still has nothing to be ashamed of at #2, Nick Hoult surged from #8, much due to the pictures accompanying this month’s interview with him in Out Magazine. He’d look good in anything, but that Mad Men-look really suits him. Zac Hanson’s second straight #5 showing is impressive for someone I once inexplicably declared could never really be considered hot, and Luke Pasqualino too is holding on well, despite the fact that there are still several months until the new Skins season is on.

It also is worth noting that Raviv Ullman is finally back in the top ten. After he posted a personal best #5 showing back in May, he has struggled to get back into the top tier. I have seen nothing but stills from his Lifetime sitcom Rita Rocks, but it was still sufficiently enticing to make him place at #8. There’s just something about that smile. That said, Ullman had to see Ryan Sheckler get the better of him, with the former MTV regular, now plain skaterboy three spots, to #7. This list often comes down to have done the best job keeping themselves on my radar lately, and to this end, this picture. It’s not new, but I hadn’t seen it before. Also, it’s definitely a plus that his awful tattoos are not as prominently displayed. I guess I say this a lot, but why do wonderful guys feel the need to mess up their body like that?

The rise of Sheckler and Ullman are the only plausible reasons for Logan Lerman’s slight dip. I never got around to seeing Gamer, and I don’t think My One and Only will be released to Norwegian movie theaters, but I’m not afraid that this could be the start of a more serious slide for him. In the battle for Skins honors, Mitch Hewer comes in third yet again, but I think it’s worth remembering what a remarkably steady run the young has had on the SMA. With the recent decline of Jesse McCartney, he is now one of a relatively few people who have consistently placed in the top ten throughout the SMA’s history. He’s holding on this month, too, is bQarely. But don’t count him out just yet.

#11-20: It’s official: I love Jesse Eisenberg. He may not be your average heartthrob, but I now realize I think he’s genuinely attractive, in addition to being one of the funniest, most charming young actors around (Michael Cera has does of the same things to me). Climbing fifteen spot is not unprecedented on this list (Leonardo DiCaprio and Corbin Bleu have done it before), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a very impressive feat. Considering this month’s succes is based on me watching the first ten minutes of the very sweet Adventureland, and that I still haven’t seen him in Zombieland, I wouldn’t bet that he has reached his peak yet. Speaking of which, he actually debuted at #10 on the very first SMA. If neither of his adventures of this summer do the trick, I could of course go back to watching The Squid and the Whale again.

The other noteworthy development in the second tier is the aforementioned seeming implosion of Jesse McCartney. He drops out of the top ten for the first time, to #12. This is really a test of that very same loyalty that I feel for people like Emile Hirsch and Zac Hanson. It really pains me to say this about someone who has meant so much to me (as chronicled in my Early Gay Crushes post about him), but Jesse simply hasn’t been looking his best lately. I won’t give up on him however, and I like his music as much as ever.  Also on the music quota, arrives Nick Jonas, the youngest Jonas Brother, brain of the band, and newly re-emerged solo artist. It was not the news of his Nick Jonas & The Administration side project that secured him his solid SMA debut, however. Rather, his somewhat disengaged, dry delivery strikes me as the funniest in their group’s generally awful Disney Channel sitcom Jonas, which hit Norwegian television screens this month. For a guy like him, any exposure is good exposure. Even if he’s back to dating Miley Cyrus.

Speaking of Cyrus, her co-star in Hannah Montana: The Movie, Lucas Till, climbed three spots in a month in which those remaining in the second tier held their own, at best. Charlie Hunnam pretty much erased his August gains, falling four spots to #19, and both Kevin Zegers, Chris Egan and Tyler Hoechlin are also sliding. For Zegers this marks his first setback in several months, but he’s still only back at his July level. Old faithful Ryan Donowho, as usual one of those who gained least exposure, stays in at #20.

#21-30: With both band’s now having two members each on the SMA, the battle between Hanson and Jonas Brothers can begin in earnest. We already have the rivalry between current and former Skins people. amd before Chris Egan completely demolished the opposition, Mitch Firth, Rhys Wakefield and Jason Smith gave him a fight for the Home and Away honors. This week’s simultaneous rise of Taylor Hanson and Joe Jonas, leaving them within modest climbing distance of each other, should make for an interesting duel in the months to come. I’m not exactly what’s behind Taylor’s recent elevation, but I suspect it has something to do with my general love for Hanson, and I wouldn’t rule out that Zac’s SMA success somehow is trickling down to his older brother. In the case of Joe Jonas, the honor will have to be shared between the family sitcom, and my work on a piece about the reception of the group’s most recent album.

In other positive news, High School Musical‘s Matt Prokop, takes a long step towards nullifying his dramatic August drop. At #29, winning nine spots, he still has a way to go to replicate his #19 showing from July, but he’s off to a great start. I’m not sure why he’s rebounding so fast, but often when these things happen, it’s due to me being a bit hasty in writing people off. It works the other way, too. People who climb significantly, have a tendency to come down to earth relatively quickly. Therefore, it’s a very good sign that Prokop’s fellow HSMer, Corbin Bleu, who rose an incredible nineteen spots in August, still isn’t down more than five spots in October, landing at #30.

Among the usual suspects – Jamie Bell, Alex Pettyfer, Ed Speleers – all this month’s changes should be considered to be within the margin of natural developments. They generally tend to come in some where in twenties, and now they do so again. Pettyfer, for instance, who actually started off as a top ten contender during the summer of 2008, this month’s dives a fairly predicatable, and thus undramatic, five spots to #27. Speelers small slide should be viewed the same way, although he should really be credited with staying so high on the list, considering that his only meaning full credits, in the awful Eragon and on the cover Attitude Magazine, are long since in the past. Chris Lowell may theoretically have an easier time getting on my radar, but since I’ve never watched Private Practice, his could be subject to probably temporary slides as this month, to #26.

#31-40: The 30’s may have their own small roster of ususal suspects – Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Faris, Adam Brody – but they have in common that they were 20’s contenders not long ago, and could sonn be again. Faris’ presence is still mostly due to Life as we know it, while Brody’s stint on The O.C. kind of works like a bulwark against the crappy movies he have taken to starring in, like Mr. & Mrs. Smith, or Smiley Face. Neither should have reason to worry about sliding into the next tier, even though Brody faces a drop this month.

For that, I would rather keep an eye on Dan Stevens, of The Line of Beauty fame. Like Bleu now, Stevens held up surprisingly in his second month, but he now is paying a prize, being relegated to the fourth tier. Dropping by nine could well be a sign of worse things to come. At the opposite end of the scale, we welcome 90210′s Matt Lanter to the SMA. He has been a contender practically since this list was born, but for some reason it took him a while to make. He caught my attention back in 2005, when he repeatedly took his shirt off in the otherwise forgetable Geena Davis presidential drama Commander in Chief, but his face is actually even better. If he can manage to hang on for a while (and if he can The CW to renew his seriously struggling show), he may be one to watch.

Also on the positive side, Ed Westwick continues to climb, thus at least reducing the constant risk that he will fall off the list in the immediate future, as he has had a tendency to do previously. Mitch Fitch, too, takes a step away from the brink in October, hoping to get back some of the traction he got when he co-starred in my Chris Egan EGC piece in early summer. Finally, Cristiano Ronaldo looks like he might have caught a break, climbing five spots to #40. He is set to be the next Calvin Klein, which may well turn out to be a way up for the Madridbased footballer.

#41-5o: Returning, lazingly, to the topic of usual suspects, even the final tiers has its fair share – among them Ryan Phillippe, Rhys Wakefield and Brady Corbet. But just like their higher-up colleagues, they only remain usual suspects until the slide further down, and for instance of these people, that means getting booted from the list altogether. Once you’re off the list, and unless you’re named Daniel Radcliffe, Ed Westwick or Joseph Gordon-Levitt, it can be really hard to mount a comeback. The three US’s above may have become something close to immune, though. Corbet in particular has been in this challenging situation over and over again, only to fight to live yet another month. The downside to all of this may be that they are now so closely identified with the bottom tier that it’s hard to seem them make a credible run for a post higher up in the hierarchy, so to speak. For Radcliffe, the serial returnee, are once again starting to look rather bleak.

Welsh footballer Gareth Bale is this week’s sole returnee, at a quite decent #42, but if he is to climb further, he needs to convince Harry Redknapp he’s the right man for Spurs. Also too early to tell with regards to place in the hierarchy is music guy Dougie Poynter, although his modest gain is an obvious positive. Apart from him, the forties rather predictably consists of people on the decline, from sportspeople Fernando Torres and Rafael Nadal, to singers Shad Moss and Jay Brannan. If I were to guess however, I would say that Torres’s and Brannan’s long-term prospects looks better though, because of loyalty and/0r sheer familiarity. Torres belongs to Liverpool, and thus will always have a place in my heart, while Brannan seems to have permanently settled in my ears, due to singer/songwriter excellence. The case of Hanson should provide ample evidence that audio sexiness can easily be converted into SMA stardom, if your looks are also above average.

  1. Emile Hirsch (Previous ranking: 2)
  2. Zac Efron (1)
  3. Nick Hoult (8)
  4. Hunter Parrish (3)
  5. Zac Hanson (5)
  6. Luke Pasqualino (7)
  7. Ryan Sheckler (10)
  8. Raviv Ullman (13)
  9. Logan Lerman (4)
  10. Mitch Hewer (9)
  11. David Gallagher (11)
  12. Jesse McCartney (6)
  13. Chris Egan (16)
  14. Kevin Zegers (12)
  15. Jesse Eisenberg (30)
  16. Nick Jonas (new)
  17. Tyler Hoechlin (14)
  18. Lucas Till (21)
  19. Charlie Hunnam (15)
  20. Ryan Donowho (17)
  21. Taylor Hanson (26)
  22. Gaspard Ulliel (18)
  23. Joe Jonas (29)
  24. Ed Speleers (20)
  25. Chris Lowell (19)
  26. Jamie Bell (23)
  27. Alex Pettyfer (22)
  28. Jonathan Taylor Thomas (28)
  29. Matt Prokop (38)
  30. Corbin Bleu (25)
  31. Sean Faris (34)
  32. William Moseley (27)
  33. Dan Stevens (24)
  34. Leonardo DiCaprio (33)
  35. Joseph Gordon Levitt (34)
  36. Adam Brody (31)
  37. Matt Lanter (new)
  38. Ed Westwick (41)
  39. Mitch Firth (43)
  40. Cristiano Ronaldo (45)
  41. Shad Moss (36)
  42. Gareth Bale (RE)
  43. Dougie Poynter (46)
  44. Rhys Wakefield (44)
  45. Rafael Nadal (42)
  46. Fernando Torres (40)
  47. Jay Brannan (39)
  48. Daniel Radcliffe (35)
  49. Ryan Phillippe (47)
  50. Brady Corbett (48)
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4 Responses to With Hirsch On Top, October SMA Returns To Normal

  1. jay says:

    I’m glad matty p , is on the up again ! he has a guest spot on medium airing this month . a slight fall for logan , ‘ my one and only ‘ is a rather good film , i have to be honest and say ‘ gasp ‘ I did enjoy Mark Rendalls performance as Logans brother rather more than logans performance . Also Nick Stahl was well worth watching . Parts of the film reminded me of ‘ This Boys Life ‘ . Well worth catching .

  2. queerlefty says:

    I’ll se MOAO if I can find it. Looking forward to some Logan time. I remember Stahl from ‘Bully’ and ‘T3’. Great guy.

  3. I’d hate to sound like a typical dude but… ZOMBIELAND WAS FUCKIN’ AWESOME!

    I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing Jesse Eisenberg’s character. He was so good at it. His scene with the special cameo cracked me up.

    Nick Jonas?! He’s like a baby…

    Can’t wait to see Hunter Parrish on “It’s Complicated.” Every time I see him, I feel like giving him a hug. Hahaha.

  4. queerlefty says:

    I loved every second of ‘Zombieland’, too. And I really have no relationship at all with zombie movies. Eisenberg’s comic timing is among the best in the business. And he’s so incredibly cute, smart and funny.

    As you may have noticed, I quite like Jonas Brothers (go on, judge me, hehe), but it took me some time to warm to Nick. But his slightly off-beat humor is what makes their sitcom reasonably watchable.

    As for Hunter, he’s lovely, but I wouldn’t stop at hugging.

    Thanks for your comments, as always.

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