Emile Hirsch Is The Man To Beat For March’s Sexiest Male

In a widely expected development, all-around gay Emile Hirsch of Milk has run with the Sexiest Male Alive title for March. People who inspire me to se a film twice in one week deserve to have that honor. Still, there were some less expected developments on this month’s list too: Youngster Logan Lerman regained his footing, climbing nine spots to share the Climber Of The Month mantle with drummer boy Zac Hanson. After an impressive January showing, however, Gossip guy Ed Westwick is again heading fast in the opposite direction, dropping a  massive eleven spots. Standing proud and pretty on the shoulders of Slumdog Millionaire, Dev Patel leads a pack of three newcomers at #21, while Daniel Radcliffe’s brains and Jody Latham’s, well, bloody good looks, secure both of them a welcome back into the fold. At the same time, we bid farewell for now to Jeremy Sumpter (who saw the writing on the wall when he fell twenty spots in January), Thomas Dekker, Charles Carver (it’s never easy being the new kid, particularly if you’re on a show I don’t even watch) and Daniel Agger.

As always, the changes on this list is generally caused by any particular guy being considered by me to be relatively more attractive than he was considered previously. That, however, of course doesn’t necessarily mean that any of the other people on this list have become markedly less attractive, only that they perhaps have not been as good at getting my attention lately. With that said, let’s break it down:

#1-10: That Emile Hirsch’s win had been in the waiting for some time, doesn’t mean he didn’t have serious competition. The hotness glowing from Nick Hoult’s shoot for Attitude‘s March Issue melted my heart nearly as definitely as Hirsch did in Milk, but he still has to wait to be number one (considering how frequently the title is changing hands, that shouldn’t necessarily take all that long). Zac Efron got a boost from the DVD release of the admittedly still enjoyable High School Musical 3, and Raviv Ullman’s appearance in Normal Adolescent Behavior, a teen drama that’s trying all too hard to be edgy, secures him a personal best at #5. Even though it’s a little risky to say this in a month in which Ullman broke into the Top Five, I’m not particularly concerned about the small slides of regular Top Three contenders Jesse McCartney, Hunter Parrish and Mitch Hewer, especially considering the stability of the lower end of the first tier.

#11-20: In recent months, no one has been better at keeping momentum than Zac Hanson, who wasn’t even on this list last summer, but by now I know better than to speculate about whether he has a roof.  Also worth positively noting is the seemingly out-of-nowhere rise of Tyler Hoechlin, and Logan Lerman’s aforementioned bounce back after his terrible January showing. Speaking of sweet revenge, Ed Speleers and Jamie Bell both reassure me that they are forces to be reckoned with, while Ryan Sheckler suffer one of the few setbacks of this tier. Kudos to Charlie Hunnam for keeping his impressive #13 spot for the third month in a row.

#21-30: With Dev Patel’s #21 debut, Skins seems to have taken over the position Home and Away once had as the best looking TV drama, but for the long haul, footballer Cristiano Ronaldo’s dramatic eight-spot fall might be real story. I admit the main reason for this is that his team, Manchester United, has been screwing up my beloved Liverpool’s chances at finally take the Premiership trophy to Merseyside, but who said all judgments always had to be rational? The question is what happens next. Elsewhere, Jesse Eisenberg’s position looks to have normalized at #23, while another repeat episode of House of Carters gave Aaron Charles an opportunity to prove that smarts doesn’t always outshine sexiness. Jonathan Taylor Thomas’ surprisingly steady rise continues, courtesy of yet another 8 Simple Rules rerun, while some of the shine of January have come off for Revolutionary Road‘s still elegant Leonardo DiCaprio. Our longstanding relationship will lift him again soon enough. Elsewhere, Adam Brody’s recent rise have seemingly come to a halt.

#31-40: In a month of relative stability among the 30’ers, Rafi Gavron of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist is doing his best to shake things up, and his #33 arrival is quite remarkable, considering I have yet to see the film. Though in rather modest steps, Taylor Hanson and Joe Jonas continue to climb, and Jonas also should benefit from the upcoming Jonas Brothers concert movie, if and when I decide to see it. His Disney Channel colleague Cody Linley slides somewhat from last month, but at #39, he’s still very much in the running. Just over him, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers failed to capitalize on my watching Match Point for the first time recently, while Max Theriot seems determined to fight his way back, starting with taking four spots in March.

41-50: Tried and true Daniel Radcliffe’s Revenge of the Nerds-style comeback was forecast late last month, but Jody Latham’s return was far less expected. The final new face is Lucas Grabeel, the HSM fourth-wheel who needed Milk to have his break through. For Ed Westwick it looks more like a breakdown, reversing all the gains he made in January, while Joe Dempsie, Brady Corbet, Michael Pitt and Rhys Wakefield show that they are not simply going to go away, even though their positions on the list might suggest it’s inevitable.

  1. Emile Hirsch (Previous ranking: 2)
  2. Nicholas Hoult (6)
  3. Zac Efron (4)
  4. Jesse McCartney (1)
  5. Raviv Ullman (7)
  6. Hunter Parrish (3)
  7. Mitch Hewer (5)
  8. David Gallagher (8)
  9. Alex Pettyfer (9)
  10. Chris Egan (10)
  11. Tyler Hoechlin (15)
  12. Gaspard Ulliel (11)
  13. Charlie Hunnam (13)
  14. Logan Lerman (23)
  15. Zac Hanson (24)
  16. Ryan Sheckler (12)
  17. Ed Speleers (20)
  18. Ryan Donowho (18)
  19. Kevin Zegers (17)
  20. Jamie Bell (25)
  21. Dev Patel (new)
  22. Cristiano Ronaldo (14)
  23. Jesse Eisenberg (16)
  24. Aaron Carter (30)
  25. Jonathan Taylor Thomas (28)
  26. Sean Faris (21)
  27. Leonardo DiCaprio (19)
  28. Adam Brody (22)
  29. Rafael Nadal (31)
  30. Fernando Torres (29)
  31. Mitch Firth (27)
  32. Taylor Hanson (34)
  33. Rafi Gavron (new)
  34. Chace Crawford (32)
  35. Joe Jonas (36)
  36. Ryan Phillippe (37)
  37. Randy Harrison (33)
  38. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (39)
  39. Cody Linley (36)
  40. Maz Theriot (44)
  41. Gareth Bale (38)
  42. Daniel Radcliffe (RE)
  43. Brady Corbet (46)
  44. Jody Latham (RE)
  45. Michael Pitt (47)
  46. Ed Westwick (35)
  47. Chad Michael Murray (41)
  48. Rhys Wakefield (48)
  49. Lucas Grabeel (new)
  50. Joe Dempsie (49)
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9 Responses to Emile Hirsch Is The Man To Beat For March’s Sexiest Male

  1. WHOA!

    Raviv Ullman = Ricky Ullman?!?! I had no idea. I almost had a heart attack. At first, I was like “Is this ‘Raviv’ Ricky’s brother or something?” Then I went to Google him and Ricky’s face popped up. One of my best friends is obsessed with this guy and… I just don’t see it at all. I don’t know why.

    I’m happy Emile took #1. He deserves it. Can’t wait for “Taking Woodstock.” I don’t really know much about Woodstock Festivals but one of my friends told me it has something to do with hippies. lol

    Rafi Gavron. He’s so sexy. I had a dream about him two or three nights ago. It was weird because I was at a supermarket at the check out lane and he was the guy helping out with the bags. The weirder thing is that I was buying pig’s blood and he looked at me as if he was judging me. LOL

  2. P.S.: Isn’t Aaron Carter a crackhead now? Poor kid.

  3. queerlefty says:

    Ullman has been credited with his birth name (Raviv) in the most recent things he’s done, so I decided to go with that. I can’t really explain what attracts me about him, but in ‘Normal Adolescent Behavior’ he has this slightly effeminate quality.

    Yeah, ‘Taking Woodstock’ should be great. Ang Lee proved with ‘The Ice Storm’ that he really knows how to take on this era (even though TIS was about the early seventies, and also a great deal more disillusioned than the spirit of Woodstock), and I can’t wait to see Emile. For the best possible introduction to Woodstock the phenomenon, I recommend Mike Wadleigh’s excellent documentary ‘Woodstock’ (1970). It’s three hours long, but I loved every minute. And Carlos Santana’s performance = brilliant.

    If Rafi Gavron were to ever occur in my dreams, I certainly hope it wouldn’t be to help me bag pig’s blood, but thanks for sharing, sorta:) I could think of better things to do with him, but I doubt he’d be on board with it if he thought it involved the bodily fluids of swine, hehe.

    Sure, Aaron Carter seems like an obnoxious jerk for the most part, but he still kinda attractive.

  4. Smilie says:

    What a yummy list. :-)

    Aaron carter is attractive on a purely physical level but after watching a couple of clips of “House of Carters” it’s starting to tarnish my view of him. That’s probably why I refuse to watch an entire episode. I’m worried about tarnishing my perfectly constructed view of Nick and Aaron (more Nick than Arron I suppose).

  5. queerlefty says:

    Thanks for your comment, Smilie.

    While I certainly was (is?) a (closeted) BSB fan, and while Nick was definitely most to my liking of the Florida Five, I’m having trouble getting through HoC too. Mainly because the whole family seems so self-conciously whiny. It depends on my mood whether I let that stand in the way of crediting Aaron for his hotness or not. Anyway, it surely makes him the least ‘cute’ guy on the entire list:)

  6. poeticgrin says:

    Will you please do what you can to have Logan Lerman’s short-lived but wondefully-fantastic series Jack and Bobby released on DVD? What a show. I mourned its cancellation several years ago.

    RE: Aaron Carter as obnoxious jerk. I was going to say a very inappropriate comment about how I’d solve the problem of him talking and thus ruining the mood, but I will leave that to one’s imagination. I can still enjoy the obnoxious eye candy.

  7. queerlefty says:

    I loved J&B too. I’m still convinced that if the show had been picked up by CBS instead of corporate cousin The WB, it could have gone on to live a long and happy life. Granted, the delicious teen drama aspect of it would have been toned down (CBS is naturally older-skewing), but at least it have been given a chance to shine. From what I gather from American media press, it among things fell victim to impossibly high expectations. Mediaweek wrote prior to its 2004 premiere that it was expected to be one of the safe new hits (this was back when they actually banked on at least a few breakout hits per season), in addition to UPN’s colossal failure ‘Kenny Hill’ and ABC’s much buzzed-about new mystery show ‘Lost’. (In an tragically ironic twist, they were totally convinced that ‘J&B’ would hit it off with viewers, but they had some doubts about ‘Desperate Housewives’. Which kind of reminds me of how everyone was touting Aaron Sorkin’s ‘Studio 60’ a few years later. I’m starting to think I was the only one who loved it.

    But we digress. Being a total political junkie, I loved for how it bravely tried to make J&B a sort of political coming-of-age story, and for how it tried to create a whole new American historical narrative within the limits of what was basically a teen drama. It would be especially rewarding to re-watch it in the Obama era, when its somewhat sentimental idealism actually seems to correlate with the public mood (at least until the financial meltdown). Some might have been put off by how the retrospective narrative technique could be used to make Bobby more of a glossy idealist (think Jed Bartlett of executive producer Thomas Schlamme’s equally excellent ‘The West Wing’), or to interpret his even youthful mistake as a forebearer of things to come, but generally I think it was brilliantly well-told. Also, I really liked Christine Lahti’s flawed but courageous Grace McCallister. You could of course view her as a caricature of a liberal activist (something that blurs the political leanings of the show), but first and foremost she’s one of the most complex female characters of recent television history.

    To my great delight, it was actually in reruns in Norway just last year, but I would have loved to own it.

  8. Kim says:

    Doesnt Emile Hirsch look like David Gallagher? Emile is so hot

  9. queerlefty says:

    Kim: Nah, I wouldn’t say that’s an obvious comparison, but sure, they’re both hot.

    Thanks for your comment, and welcome to all of that!

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